Church prophet decries Pokemon, citing doctrinal issues with evolution

Religion

President Russel M. Nelson expresses concern about popular Nintendo series.

President Russell M. Nelson recently cited a 1909 church letter, The Origin of Man, which defines the church’s opposition to Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution. Clarifying that evolution is not harmonious to basic tenets of the the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, Nelson has clearly positioned the Church against the iconic Pokemon game series.

Charleeigh, a young member from suburban Utah, shared her reaction. “I was devastated. Pikachu is so cute! I was so close to beating the game when President Nelson shared the revelation. Now I’ll never know how it feels to catch ’em all.”

Her mother, Sister Kaeri Young, added, “Charleeigh has been much more present in her prayers and when studying the Book of Mormon. I’m so relieved knowing President Nelson is the Lord’s prophet.”

One parent commented online, “I can’t believe my children were being indoctrinated with that Darwan [sic] trash. We do our best to teach our children what is right. My kids will be upset, but I know that Heavenly Father knows best.”

“As expected, we have seen some push-back from members, particularly with Millennials,” said church spokesman Eric Hawkins. “But we believe that President Nelson’s revelation has been, and will continue to be, a blessing to members of the Church.”

Latter-day Saint youth playing the increasingly popular Pokemon Go

When asked if he was particularly worried about the push-back, Hawkins expressed concern for the entire Millennial generation. “Millennials are a troubled bunch, and we know truth sometimes skips a generation,” he said. “Children today are especially righteous. I thank Heavenly Father on a nightly basis for the example they are to my own kids.”

Pokemon is a Japanese game series based on the science and evolution of captured creatures. The church declined to comment on whether or not they would ban any other game, but noted that video games in general are “best left to our gentile brethren for the deterioration of their already-fragile minds.”

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